Fat Ferals

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ferals
MY cats


I have a cat thing. My husband hates it. His mother and three of his sisters have that weird animal hoarding thing. He knows that my cat thing could easily become that weird animal hoarding thing so he has imposed a two-cat maximum in our house.

He’s right (did I just say that?) With no boundaries, I would definitely be collecting cats. The ASPCA would eventually need to be called in… it would be on the 5:00 news… the neighbors would be interviewed… I would finally be on Oprah. (I would be divorced.)

Imagine how excited I was when we moved into our current warehouse to find out there was a feral colony right next door. The wonderful
(crazy cat) ladies that take of them let me unofficially join their cat club.

That’s right, I could pretend they were mine and as long as I didn’t bring any more home, my husband couldn’t complain.

What I Really Look Like (Sort Of)

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The Real Me

The Real Me

Ok, so I posted a good photo of myself last time. Wouldn’t you?

But it was the only thing the women at work talked about. “Hey, you look really good in that picture.” “Wow, you look great” “I can’t believe how good you look!”

What they really mean is… “That doesn’t look like her at all.” “Can you believe she posted THAT photo.” “I hardly recognized her.”

OK, I get it. It’s not my normal look. So today I took some new photos. Now when you look at this photo, keep in mind that I have no make-up on, haven’t showered in two days and, oh yeah, I had surgery yesterday. Just in case the flaws are not obvious enough, I have labeled them. (I hope you all think this one is more appropriate for my blog.)

Since we are being honest… here is what you can’t see: there is a stain on my shirt, my teeth need work and I should be on a diet. AND this was the very best photo I took today. I will not post the really bad ones. Would you?

Welcome.

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Me and JamieAccording to my teenage daughter, only losers blog. AND I should never, ever, blog about her. (Oops.) What did she expect me to blog about? Crafts? Like what kind of glue to use with craft foam?

The thing about teenagers (at least teenage girls… I’m not so sure about the boys) is that they always have an opinion and they always share it with you. “Mom, you really shouldn’t go to sleep with your hair wet. The back dries weird.” I could have gone my whole life without ever worrying about the back of my head and she had to go and ruin it for me. Now, I have to worry about the front AND the back of my head. I still go to sleep with my hair wet but now I have to check to see how weird it dried.

My daughter is like the Simon Cowell of crafts. She doesn’t ever make any crafts but she takes one look at what I’m working on and knows exactly what’s wrong with it. “Mom, that would look sooo much better if you made it in pink and orange instead of blue and green.” The problem is that she’s usually right. Harsh, but right. Just like Simon.

Welcome to my blog. Thank you for reading. Please feel free to leave your comments and suggestions. You too can be a loser… just like me. Ask you daughter.